bitter sweet [closed, panto]
Feb 15, 2015 22:45:24 GMT -5
Post by BLUBBLES THE MONSTER on Feb 15, 2015 22:45:24 GMT -5
My thin frame barely looked more than bones, hell it was pretty much bones with skin and hair covering it. My initial beauty was gone from lack of care; all I had was a thin face, matted black hair and bones poking out every which way. Regardless of how dead I looked though I looked peaceful. I was heading up on my final days, though I never talked about it. I never talked about the idea of death, how I felt about it or how scared I was on the inside. I had buried all of that deep in the darkness because that was easier than dealing with it. It was like having a mirror, doesn't mean you need to look in it.
With a long sigh I remained laying just outside of the casino watching the snow slowly fall from the sky. It was too cold for myself to even leave the Casino. I would die. The idea sat lightly with me briefly, but it would end my suffering sooner. I held on though mainly because Dominic had returned and I wasn't quite ready to leave yet. Not without spending a little more time with him, not without making sure he was okay before I passed. There was many things I could have done better; like raising my child, being a better sibling, not being so childish and vein toward my parents, not hating my father for causing my mother to leave, not blaming everyone for life's hard spots...but the one thing I knew I had done flawless was love my brother. He had been the one to save me, I owed him so much.
I grunted as I let my head slowly fall onto my paws with a light thud. My light brown eyes lazily stayed open as I watched the slow gracefully fall from the sky. The way it lightly dusted the earth and old snow leaving no foot prints to be found. I enjoyed the snow. I could still remember being lively and loving to play in the snow even if it was difficult to move. Now my body ached too much for me to do such things, I was too weak. I was worthless.